Tristan J. Shuddery. A true american hero and revolutionary. This patriot is saving our children from the impending religious transformation of the world — presumably being covertly executed by Firefox and its developers.

From tomorrow any reader of the STR.com site who uses Mozilla Firefox will be “redirected” to a page we have prepared containing carefully selected biblical tracts. Shelley and I believe that this is the best way to counteract the scourge of satanism.

Yours in Christ,

Tristan J. Shuddery

Read the full article first if you want to make sense of all this. Or… make less sense.

This man, and frankly, I still don’t understand how the hell he manages to deduce this, links Firefox and its community of developers to both Al-Queda and the Apocalypse (and no, unfortunately, it’s not a joke. It’s serious politics!). He also links Firefox to satanity, which I can understand to some extent. Sure, you can claim Firefox is satanic in its about:mozilla page — if you’re an idiot who deserves a free-of-charge amputation more than anything else. It’s humor — oh wait, college didn’t teach you about that?

Not only is the content imminently repulsive – so is the layout. There’s nothing like a WE LOVE JESUS, WE LOVE AMERICA, GOD BLESS US page sporting an eyesore-generating American flag javascript that makes you want to grab a fork and give it the exclusive plunge through your retina. Oh, that isn’t all. There’s a chatbox featuring cool SOUNDS too! You’re not only left with permanent IQ reduction, you won’t have any ears either! What a deal!

For the love of God (yes, I said that intentionally), please file through your ethernet cables. The Internet was made for a lot of things and people — you aren’t one of them. Don’t pretend to be knowledgeable about something, in this case Information Technology, if you don’t have a near remote clue.

Thanks for ruining my day.

And thanks to “Shelley the Republican” too. Thank you for giving me a reason to live. My life goal, from this point onwards, is to create a DNS monopoly in order to block your site as a phishing site.